


Let's go in style.

by itsanolive



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Pierce the Veil
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lost Love, M/M, Sad Ending, Song fic, is you listen to the song you'll see, kind of based off of a pierce the veil song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsanolive/pseuds/itsanolive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton can tell Michael has stopped loving him the way he used to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's go in style.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this two years ago and decided to re-edit it.

Ashton can tell Michael has stopped loving him the way he used to. 

He can see it in the way his eyes stay the same shade of green when he wakes up as when he falls asleep. His voice doesn't sound as bright as it did when he tells him he loves him. It sounds like he's thanking someone who held a door open for him. It sounds like something he feels forced to say.

They see each other every morning and never say a word. Ashton wants Michael to tell him a stupid joke or show him some silly video he found. He wants to start sleeping in bed with him again. He's can't remember when they stopped. He's not sure when everything left.

Ashton loves Michael. Beyond anything he could ever care about. He would give anything to make him happy. But he's already given him everything he can. He doesn't think he can make Michael happy anymore.

He doesn't know if he wants to try.

~

He would go out and Ashton would stay at home with his head in his hands, telling himself it wasn't his fault. He'd sit for hours, just staring at the wall.

He would be in the bathroom when Michael got home. He'd wait to hear him get into bed before downing the rest of whatever drink he might have and go tp the living room to sleep on the couch. 

The cushions have started to smell like his cologne.

~

Sometimes, he and Michael would sleep together like they used to. They'd lay together wrapped around each other and talk about the things that are ruining the world and what they thought would happen to them by now,

Ashton remembers when he and Michael became inseparable. They both promised each other they would try to exist, even if just for a little bit longer. Then they promised that if they couldn't hold on any longer, they would jump together. Ashton's pretty sure that they were both ready to jump a long time ago. He doubts they'll ever go down together. 

~

The times Michael talks to him, it sounds dull. Ashton feels like he's listening to an echo of what used to be the person he loved.

He tells him things like what they need to get from the grocery store. He doesn't ask him if he takes his pills anymore. Ashton stopped taking them nine months ago. 

~

Ashton listens to the songs they used to listen to together for hours. He wonders when they started slipping.

~

Michael comes home in the morning. He tells him how he was nearly beaten at the bar because some guy didn't like the way he was dancing. He says he lost the key card to his hotel room and wasn't allowed to stay. He had to call a friend to drive him home a five am.

Ashton listens. He doesn't know what to say to him. He just listens and thinks about the consequences.

~

Ashton has his bags ready hours before Michael gets home. He talks himself out of trouble one more time before Michael walks in the door.

He sways lightly. He looks at Ashton and smiles. Ashton feels a smile in his chest, but he can't manage one on his face. He walks towards Michael and hugs him. Michael hugs him back and holds him tight.

Ashton pulls back and looks at him.

"I hope you stay happy," he says. He means it. Michael had always been more stable than him.

"If you're not happy, then I hope you find a way to be." With that, Ashton walks out the door. He left his key on the table.

He drives away thinking about how Michael might feel in the morning. He won't miss him. Ashton won't miss him either. They've seen the truth to many times to miss anything anymore.

Ashton still loves him. He knows he'll never love anyone like him. He knows he'll never be as happy as he was with Michael. He's fine with that.

~

Ashton jumps. He wished Michael was there to jump with him.

**Author's Note:**

> The angst was real in 2015.


End file.
